Learning to hold things loosely

Our kids teach us a lot of lessons, don’t they? They challenge us in ways that others do not––which really just means they confront us with ourselves in a way that no one else can. One lesson I’ve been forced to learn as a parent is to hold everything with a loose hand.

I’m a pretty particular person… I have a plate I really like to use. It’s called my plate or “daddy’s plate.” I have a fork I like better than all the rest (we’re one of those families that has a hodgepodge of silverware in the drawer), it’s called daddy’s fork. And of course, there’s a daddy’s spoon and knife too, and even a daddy’s cup and bowl. I really like these items, and I have good reasons for liking them. The fork is just the perfect size to carry enough food into my big mouth. The bowl fits perfectly into the palm of my hand. The cup is just plain cool. The plate doesn’t have those annoying edges in it where food gets stuck. The knife handle fits perfectly in my hand and feels heavy enough that I feel like a man. The spoon’s curvature was made for my lips. In fact, it would seem that everything was made just for me!

Naturally, I’m not a little attached to these items, and my wife and children are great about making sure they stay washed and ready for the next meal. And when we sit down to eat, they scour the drawers, cupboards, and strainer looking for daddy’s items of choice so they can serve me up.

But truth to tell… these aren’t the first daddy items our kitchen has ever seen. For example, I’ve had other daddy plates and other daddy bowls. I remember a daddy plate and a daddy cup that my mother gave to me after my stepfather died. They were his favorite items and I was really attached to them. In fact, the plate was his father’s before him. I so loved that green plate. And I really loved that cup. You can see where this is going, can’t you?

The kids broke that plate. They broke that cup, too (actually, my wife just reminded me that I broke that cup :/). They’ve broken at least 6 of my bowls. They’ve broken several of my glasses. They’ve broken a lot more plates than my green one. It’s really great to have 7 kids… we’ve had 7 dishwashers! But what happens when kids–both young and old–do dishes? They break things. When I had to change out the cast-iron sink and bought an acrylic one, I thought it would double as an exercise in damage-control. Well, the floor turned out to be a great place to break things too.

My point in all this is simple. My children have helped me learn a lesson God would have us learn as early and as well as possible, namely, to hold everything with a loose hand. There’s nothing wrong with really liking the things we own or really loving that newly finished hardwood floor (they put a 6-ft scratch in it within the first week. But now that there are so many other scratches to go with it, you can’t even notice it!). There’s nothing wrong with precious, meaningful, things. But there is something wrong with putting your heart where it doesn’t belong.

We can love and enjoy and be thankful for the things of life, but we can’t so love them that all our life and all our joy are wrapped up in them. We can hold things closely–and even tightly, but we can’t hold them so closely and tightly that they own us. Every earthly comfort will one day be taken away–or you’ll soon be taken away from it. Every earthly thing perishes and most earthly things break. Paul told Timothy that God richly provides us with everything we have in order that we might enjoy it (1Tim 6.17). So we’re supposed to enjoy what He’s given us. And yet, we’re also supposed to be ready at every moment to let it all go (Lk 14.26). Because one day it all will go–or we’ll go from it.

The moral of the story is this: love nothing so much as you love Jesus. He is the one thing God’s given you that will never be taken away. His is the relationship that will endure every trial and suffering and last forever. He will never break. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will always remain faithful. Everything else must be held very loosely, because we know we can’t keep it. Everything we have, even our spouse and children, is on loan from God, who can, does, and will take it all away when He knows it’s no longer good for us to have it. Except Jesus. He’s given us Jesus to have forever. To Him we can cling, hold on tightly, even hold with a death-grip. Because He’s the one thing that we can carry across the threshold of death into the next life. Praise God!

The next time something you love breaks or gets lost or stolen–or even dies, know that it’s God’s way of calling you to draw closer to Jesus and to tighten your grip on Him. It’s God’s way of reminding you that sooner or later everything perishes but His love for you in Jesus never will.