Some people have hurt us so badly that we can hardly think of them without thinking of the wrong they did us–though a long time ago, and feeling like it was just yesterday. We say we’ve forgiven them, but our being unable to think of them without recalling the injury and without having the heat of anger, bitterness, or resentment arise in our hearts all over again, reveals that we’ve not yet forgiven them as we’ve been forgiven, Eph 4.32. We’ve not yet forgiven them as a Christian should and can.Â
We need to remember that no matter how badly a person may injure us, nothing they do can dissolve the relation in which we stand to them. For example, our father may abuse and mistreat us badly, he may treat us as no father should ever treat his child; and yet, he remains our father still. Our son may disgrace us, he may walk out the door of our house in anger and never return home again to own his parents; and yet, he remains our son still. Our fellowman may rob us, deface our property, even hurt our person, but he remains our neighbor still.
What this means is, no matter how others may treat us our duty before God towards that person remains the same. Our father’s mistreating us cannot absolve us of our responsibility to love him. Our son’s disgracing us cannot absolve us of our responsibility to love him. And our neighbor’s hurting us cannot absolve us of our responsibility to love him. If a person starves us, we must still feed his hunger. If a person strips us, we must still clothe his nakedness. If a person curses us, we must still bless him. If he persecutes us, we must pray for him; if he’s cruel to us, we must be merciful to him; if he hurts and injures us, we must still pour oil into his wounds and seek his welfare.
This is gospel living. It’s treating others as Christ has treated us. It’s imitating our Father in heaven. It’s loving others with the love with which we’ve been loved by God. It’s proving we love Him whom we have not seen (God) because we love him whom we have seen (our neighbor). It’s putting the gospel into practice. It’s joining feet and hands to the faith we confess. It’s showing ourselves children of God and disciples of Christ. Just read Mt 5.38-48 and Rom 12.14-21.
How can we do this!? you ask. By forgiving those who wrong us. Forgiveness–out of love for Christ and in obedience to God–is the key that unlocks this kind of Christian conduct. Forgiveness doesn’t undo the wrong, turn back the clock, or stoically ignore what happened. The injury really did happen. It really did heart. It really did leave its mark on your life.
Yet, because the forgiveness of others is the fruit of God’s grace and mercy in our own lives, it invariably confronts us with our own guilt and shame. We forgive others as we’ve been forgiven by God because we recognize that we too are guilty of wrong, that we too have injured our neighbor. How can we, who are sinners ourselves, not forgive the sins of others? And who are we, who stand in need of much more forgiveness from God than the person who wronged us needs from us, who are we to not forgive? And how can we, who expect forgiveness from God for our daily sins, not forgive others their sins? To withhold forgiveness from a fellow sinner and then expect God to forgive us our sins is both hypocritical and presumptuous (Mt 6.14-15).
Who do you need to forgive today? Your parents? Your spouse? Your children? Your neighbor? Your own peace with God and your assurance that God has forgiven your sins depends, in part, on whether or not you forgive others. It’s not that your forgiveness of others merits or triggers God’s forgiveness of you. Rather, your being able to forgive others as God forgives is a powerful means of assuring you that God has indeed forgiven you. Your being able to share and channel God’s forgiveness evidences that you are indeed a recipient of it. Whereas a person’s refusal to forgive (even one person) as God forgives strongly argues that he knows nothing of such forgiveness and is himself still a stranger to the grace and mercy of God in Christ.
Do you forgive as God forgives? Or are you holding grudges and nursing resentment? You must let it go and live by faith in your duty as a Christian: forgive as you’ve been forgiven.
